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I'm an in-house manager for a non-profit that's dedicated to furthering the understanding of human development in the 21st century - or at least that's what I tell strangers at social functions. It's party-speak for saying I'm a wife and mother. If I'm asked, I explain I qualified for my position by getting a bachelor in public affairs - and then I married the bachelor. Most of my training in home management was on-the-job-training. I'd never cooked before I got married and my cleaning skills were spotty. The first time I used a laundromat I had to guess how much detergent to use. When I came back to put my laundry in the dryer, I had to wade through suds because the Tide had come in. Good home management requires organization. To test my skills, I participated in the on-line survey, "Ready To Organize Your Household?" After answering six, multiple-choice questions I was told I had "some areas to work on". Not responding well to computer criticism, I answered all the questions with a very well organized "very". This time I was offered a plan that would "help make things perfect" - an opportunity to buy a book about organizing - a book that came with a bonus report on twenty-eight ways to stop procrastinating. Obviously, I need the bonus report because I've procrastinated about buying the book. For me schedules are the key to getting things done. Schedules let me know what I have to do, when I have to do it and when I'll be done. I schedule housework in the morning so I can wash my hands of it as soon as possible. I schedule grocery shopping for Saturday so my family can help. I have a husband and two sons. Since they're biologically predestined to be hunters, they hunt for tarragon in aisle four and chilies in aisle eight. I stopped scheduling time to pay bills when my husband got out of the Army. That's when he told me he could manage the bills better. Now I watch man - age. For this woman, however, being a mother is the hardest part of home management. Having been a girl scout and having received merit badges for achievements, I thought mothers should receive merit badges for their children's achievements. I've changed my mind. Girl scouts wear their badges on a sash and a sash would be something else I'd have to iron.
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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at knightwatch.typepad.com
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